Embrace Your Older (or Younger) Friends

Plus: Ask me anything!

Pickleball pic by Dennis Amith via Flickr

Ask me ANYTHING!

Before we get to the latest advice question, I’m getting ready for a special episode celebrating three years of podcasting about friendship (and almost 10 years of writing about friendship).

Here’s how to ask me anything:

1. Respond to this email.

2. Ask anonymously on this form.

3. Leave a voicemail. (It’s your choice to use your name in the message or not. I don’t mind either way.)

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Dear Nina,

We don't have kids. (It was a big dramatic 7 year struggle). Now I realize that my sister, who has two grade-school aged kids, created most of her huge, fun friend group through being parents together.

At a party recently, we met tons of cool couples, who I didn't even know existed in our (big city) community. When we asked how they knew each other, it turns out they ALL met through kids over the years and have made real and valuable friendships. We are definitely missing out over here.

Additionally, our small group of friends has major scheduling limitations because of kids. They’re always getting together with their school/parent friends, and we're left out. We don't really want to go to birthday parties or gymnastics events, although we have, and we've noticed they're distracted anyway.

So, we're friends with couples older than we are (early 40s), because their kids are grown. It’s nice, but not the same. It's becoming a really sad problem for us!

What do you suggest? Thanks, “Child-Free and Lonely”

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Dear “Child-Free and Lonely,”