How to Pitch Me or Anyone About Anything
Also: The Childhood Friendships That Shaped Us
Sometimes readers and listeners ask me how to pitch themselves as a guest for Dear Nina. I am open to guests! But the more episodes I record, the more original a pitch must be to avoid repetition.
How to pitch me or ANYONE about ANYTHING:
The first place to start is a scan of past episodes. I keep a list. But you could look on a podcast app to see anyone’s titles. If you’re pitching an editor about an article, don’t send ideas that were published last month.
The next task is sending an email explaining what the episode will be about and why you’re the right guest for the topic. What is the thing? Why are YOU the one to do the thing? That’s it! Really.
Make it easy for the person you’re pitching to say yes. Trust me, I want to say yes. Other hosts want to say yes. Editors want to say yes. But you have to make it EASY.
With Kristin Nilsen’s permission, I’m sharing the email that led to this week’s episode about the childhood friendships that shaped our identities. Her email made it easy to say yes.
NOTE: If you hear the episode, you’ll catch our sidebar chat about the overuse of the “mean girl” trope. I loved that part! I loved all the parts! But other than that one unplanned bit, which came from me listening to a recent episode of Glennon Doyle’s podcast, the other elements started as points from Kristin’s excellent email.
You’ll see why I’d never say no to a pitch like hers. Kristin essentially wrote an episode outline, including a title.
ALSO NOTE: Kristin and I are friends! But she’s a professional and still knew to send me a formal pitch. It’s because we’re friends that she gave me permission to share her email. I did not say yes because we’re friends.
I’ve said no to friends! The podcast is a true labor of love for me—each one taking a tremendous amount of time from recording, to editing, to writing the show notes, and creating the graphics and the social media posts. I’m a one-woman band. There are no favors happening around here! Honestly, I’m not that good of a friend.
Kristin’s email:
Hello Nina!
I have SO many things I would like to talk about on Dear Nina that it was very difficult to settle on just one. Seriously, if you are passionate about the topic of friendship then I am passionate about chiming in on the topic of friendship! But I would also like to come to the table with some credibility. And so I carefully looked at what I know and how I know it and why I care. And not coincidentally, it has to do with writing for children.
WHY ME? Writing a book for children involves understanding how childhood friendships work and what purpose they serve; and one thing I've discovered is that they are generally far more formative than the friendships we have as adults.
In most books for children there is some element of friendship. Unlike adult books where you often have a main character and a plot completely devoid of friends. Charlotte’s Web is about Wilbur and his friendship with a benevolent spider and how that friendship differs from all the other animals in the barn.
Most people will tell you that Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret is a book about a girl getting her period, but it’s actually about moving to a new place and trying to fit in; fitting in is just another word for finding friends. Ramona and Howie, Mary Lennox and Colin in The Secret Garden, Harriet the Spy and Sport and Janie, Anne of Green Gables and Diana, Betsy Tacy and Tib! I could not do my job without having something important to say about friendship!
THE TOPIC: The Childhood Friends Who Shaped Our Identities
Most of us had a variety of friendships in childhood that somehow helped shape our identities. I'm not talking about the best friends or the close friends or the friends who are still by your side well into adulthood. This is not about hierarchy or importance. It’s about people who came into your life at the right time and showed you something about yourself that helped you grow into the person you are today. These might be people you don't even have contact with anymore. It might have been brief like a camp friend or someone who moved away or went to another school. But something about that person encouraged you to move in a different direction or unleash something within you that still plays a role in your life.
In our adult relationships, we come more fully formed. Although we are always growing and evolving, our personalities are set and we bring a certain set of traits to the table. In childhood, we are lumps of clay searching for a sculptor. And those sculptors are often our friendships, no matter how casual or brief.
I would love to have a discussion about our own childhood friendships and how they formed us. I have one friend who showed me how to be a tomboy, a reader, and a creator of stories. I have another set of friends (twins!) who pulled me from childhood into adolescence. Another was so irresponsible and spontaneous (shoplifting, anyone?) that I will forever be the safety patrol on any outing.
I hope this discussion will encourage people to look back at their own childhood friendships and see all the people who contributed to shaping that lump of clay. It’s a great way to take stock of who we are and where we came from and be grateful for the relationships we’ve had, even if they were temporary.
What do you think? I'm open to suggestions. Let me know! And thank you again for the opportunity! I can't wait!
Kristin
Do you see why that was an easy yes?
Some would say this email is too long. Kristin might have started with the title idea and kept going from there, which she probably would have done if we weren’t friends.
But I wouldn’t cut anything from the paragraphs below the title. This level of detail worked well for me because I knew exactly what we’d talk about. If I ever have to ask myself at the end of a pitch, “But what would we talk about?” then the email didn’t do its job. And if you listen to the episode, you’ll hear how I added my two cents to each of Kristin’s points to create a good conversation.
Resources we mentioned in the episode:
You can follow Kristin on Instagram and on TikTok. Find more information on Worldwide Crush on her site.
Kristin's initial visit to Dear Nina was back in episode 26 along with her Pop Culture Preservation Society co-hosts. They talked about making new close friends at fifty and beyond.
Childhood books we discussed: Charlotte's Web; the Betsy-Tacy series; Harriet the Spy; Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret; The Secret Garden, The Babysitter's Club series. AND-- Sweet Valley High--I mistakenly said Lila died of a cocaine overdose, but it was Regina. Oops! Thank you to Rebekah Jacobs for the correction! And of course we chatted about Millie and Shauna from Worldwide Crush.
A recent episode of We Can Do Hard Things, titled, "Being Left Out: Navigating That Lifelong Ache."
My episode with Dr. Lisa Damour about teen friendship groups and why not all kids “need” a big friend group to be happy despite what they might think while scanning social media. (There’s always drama behind those homecoming pictures!)
TV Shows I’m Watching and Books I’m Reading
I’ve been slowly listening to John Green’s unusual essay collection The Anthropocene Reviewed. I finally got to the end, and I really enjoyed it. This book is hard to explain. If you like original essays, and you like John Green—this is the book for you.
See my updated 2023 reading list here.
I’m watching The Morning Show week to week on Apple. Liking it, not loving it. It’s feeling a bit on the nose. I’ve never disliked an intro song more. And when I skip it, I’m telling you it does not skip. Anyone else have this issue?
Bryan and I are still watching Suits on Netflix. This could take us two years because he watches very little TV. I’m not kidding that we might catch 30 minutes a week.
JOIN MY FACEBOOK GROUP WHERE WE TALK ABOUT BOOKS AND TV OFTEN
I’m still making TikToks and generally being embarrassing, but it’s interesting to learn a new “skill.”
The latest anonymous friendship advice question
Have an anonymous question for the newsletter or an episode idea you want to share with me?
You can do that here, and I will never know it was from you.
Have a great week everyone! Links to bookshop.org and Amazon are affiliate links