Join a Club. Save Your Life.
(Your social life, your health, and your community)
This week on Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship, I reached a milestone of 150 episodes! The newest episode is: “Join or Die: Pickleball, Potlucks, Democracy, and Your Health.”
I had the pleasure of interviewing siblings Rebecca Davis and Pete Davis, the producers and directors of the Netflix documentary Join or Die: A film about why you should join a club and why the fate of America depends on it.
Inspired by the groundbreaking work of political scientist Robert Putnam (Bowling Alone), Join or Die explores the powerful link between social connection, the health of our democracy, and our mental and physical health. Putnam himself gets plenty of screen time, and he’s a delight to watch. I was surprised by how much his work was rejected in the last 90s, but it’s hard to imagine anyone would argue with him today.
All of the stats Putnam reported in the late 90s/early 2000s about the declining levels of participation in civic life, clubs, religious institutions, and even casual gatherings like picnics, potlucks, and yes, bowling leagues, have only dipped further today.
On the promising side, the positive reaction to this film and the ever-increasing number of people who want to live more of their lives off a screen gives me hope. If you’ve been feeling stuck, isolated, or unsure where to begin when it comes to finding your people and more meaning in your life, this episode is a place to start. And I HIGHLY recommend watching the film.
Pete and Rebecca said that since Join or Die came out, one of the most satisfying results has been hearing from people who have joined clubs in their hometowns.
From Pete in the episode:
I've been really excited by the idea that all of this is already there. All these people that could be part of your life are hiding behind doors as you walk through the street, and it's like opening up another dimension to join the civic life or the public life of your city by joining with something.
That's one of the most common experiences we hear from people who became joiners. They say, I've been going through my life and I've been passing by this building. Or I've been seeing this person at the grocery store. Or I didn't even know that seven blocks away there were people meeting in this room every Thursday night and the most amazing things were happening there. I didn't know that was possible. It's like Narnia.
If you don’t have a Netflix account, you can rent the film, or even better, host a screening for your friends and community.
FIND EPISODE #150 on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, and anywhere you listen to podcasts!
REMINDER: The 2025 friendship challenge is for everyone!
You can start the 2025 challenge any time. Each month is meant to stand alone and you don’t need an entire month to accomplish any of them. Find all the challenges listed here. Come back and let me know how it went or join us in the Dear Nina Facebook group to discuss the challenges (and more).
CHICAGO READERS/LISTENERS—SAVE THE DATE!
I’m doing a LIVE Dear Nina episode in Highland Park, IL with my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs, on July 31st from 5-7pm at ENAZ and on their second floor, called Upside Events. I will have the ticket link soon, but put it on your calendar if you’re in that area or traveling there this summer. I’d love to meet you!
Two Recent Guest Appearances
I was a guest on the TrailBLAZER Pod this week. It was much more personal than I usually share in my own podcast about my Jewish journey, how each of my four kids’ bar/bat mitzvah prep was wildly different from kid to kid, and how I ended up writing about friendship. Listen on Apple, Spotify, or YouTube.
I was also a recent guest on a show with such an interesting concept. Matt Zeigler, of Just Press Record, invites two guests he thinks should meet and lets them get to know each other live. It’s kind of scary, but I leaned into it quickly. I was paired with
, and we got along beautifully, which Matt predicted. Listen/watch on YouTube!
Books, Shows, Recipes I’m Into These Days
Reading: I started My Friends by Fredrik Backman. And here is my (mostly) updated 2025 reading list.
TV: I’m watching season 3 of Ginny & Georgia, but it’s meh so far. I’m also watching season 3 of And Just Like That. It’s so corny, but I will never stop watching those ladies, I guess.
Cooking: Truly nothing worth reporting.
Two anonymous friendship advice questions & answers you might have missed
Let’s connect outside of this newsletter: You can find me most often in the Facebook group, Dear Nina: The Group. All the social media links are below. I know I need to get rid of some them!
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