Make the First Friendship Move

I promise it's not weird.

Chessboard by Adlan on Unsplash

Send the first text. Make the first call. Offer the first set of date suggestions for a hangout. You cannot get to know someone who seems like a potential friend if you’re unwilling to take an emotional risk with a first move.

Read the first anonymous friendship question of 2024 below!

Have a friendship dilemma? 

You can tell me about it, anonymously.

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Dear Nina,

I would love your tips for getting to know someone I only see as part of an organized walking group I attend approximately three times a month for an hour at a time.

I see this person on the walks, and from the little chatting we do here and there, I get the feeling we could become friends outside of the walking group. However, I’m uncertain how to approach this when we are in a group setting all of the time.

Thanks,

I don’t want to be weird!

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Dear “I Don’t Want to be Weird,”

This is such a good question because I get a version of it fairly often. You’re not alone. So many people want to reach out to a new potential friend, but are afraid of being “weird.”

I’ve been there, too, and sometimes still worry about coming off overly eager or just plain out-of-bounds. Nevertheless, we must persist!

Why? Because no adult friendship began without someone taking the brave step of making their interest known.

Let’s break down what this “weird” even means. We’re afraid of people knowing we enjoy their company and would like to get to know them better. Why is that?