The Chicken I Made Every Friday in 2022
Plus the hard work and humility of making friends
It seems silly to be thinking about chicken days after Thanksgiving. But that’s reality. We’re right back into the swing of things. More about the chicken in a moment.
I had a particularly good Thanksgiving weekend, and I hope yours was nice, or at least OK. I enjoyed quality time with my family and Bryan’s side of the family over the weekend. Which is also my family! And I got to spend some time (never enough!) with a few close friends.
My side of the family did the unveiling ceremony for my dad, who died almost one year ago. It was the most beautiful weather we’ve ever had in late November in Chicago, and everything about it helped bring me some closure in a needed way. There is a reason we have these rituals in Judaism. I’m grateful for them.
I also spent most of the car rides to Chicago and back to Minneapolis working on a long-form essay (10 pages!) for a writing retreat I’m attending in Palm Springs in January, run by Christie Tate, author of the memoirs Group and the upcoming BFF. The essay was due to her on November 27th, which is the day I turned it in. I’m lost without a deadline.
It felt great and oddly new to be in that type of writing flow. If you only know me through the podcast or this newsletter, I used to publish all sorts of longer essays. I had a parenting column at one time, and I’ve written for a variety of other publications about many topics. I now lead writing groups in Minneapolis and always write creatively during our sessions, but it’s been a while since a piece reached 10 pages. I enjoyed myself a lot!
The hard work and HUMILITY of making new friends.
Sometimes it happens that my Dear Nina episodes form a mini-series, though each one still stands alone. Episode 38 is about knowing your friendship “dealbreakers” as you embark on making new friends. And episode 39 is about deeply accepting how much work and humility it takes when you move to a new city and need to make friends.
All of this applies even if you’re not moving. We can find ourselves in a friend rut with the desire to branch out.
Recently I read a thread in a local Facebook group about how hard it is to make new friends when people move to Minneapolis. I agree! It was hard for me too.
However, I’ve learned so much about making friends after writing the friendship column for eight years and reading so many anonymous emails. Making new friends takes much more work than people want to accept, in almost every city and town. I mean TONS of work. The people who fight this have the most difficult time. It’s easy to get caught up on how open others “should be” to newcomers. There’s “should” and there’s reality.
I’m not saying those who acknowledge the hard work of making friends find it easy with practice. It’s always hard to face potential rejection. I’m saying they accept (even if begrudgingly) the hard work and humility of being the first to reach out over and over. And over. And they keep going for it.
In episode 38, author Diana Spechler was in her 40s when she moved to Dallas after living in various places around the world as a travel writer.
Pam Lamp, in the next episode, was 57-years-old when she moved to Nashville and needed to rebuild her social life. She challenged herself to try one new thing every single day. For years!
Both women have stories to share about how they got settled in their new cities. They also got me to reflect on what I’d really like people who write to me about making new friends to understand. I think I got more into that in episode 39.
Cooking Update
I owe you the chicken recipe! We had a Shabbat dinner (Friday night dinner) at my friend Libby’s last year. My kids devoured the chicken. They normally like my Shabbat chicken, but at Libby’s house they were eating to the bone and begging for more. Libby generously passed along the recipe and it’s SO easy. I am not exaggerating when I say it’s the chicken I’ve made every Shabbat for the past year. And nobody complains about the repetition. My kids’ friends love it too.
The recipe from The Salty Marshmallow calls for basic spices and that’s all. I think the shallow pan and high temperature is key.
MY TWEAKS: Before I give you the link, just know I use all kinds of chicken pieces and it works just as well for breasts, wings, and drumsticks even though the recipe calls for thighs. Remember to cook the breasts longer. I also use less oil than the recipe calls for.
OK! Here it is!
TV Update
I regret watching The Patient on Hulu. Steve Carell was excellent, but the ending was so upsetting. It’s the rare show I wish I could un-watch.
I’m loving Fleishman is in Trouble on Hulu.
I’m still loving Abbott Elementary!
Reading Update
I’m still reading Delia Ephron’s memoir Left on Tenth. It’s really good.
If You’d Like to Support a Local Bookshop AND My Show
Use code ‘dearnina’ for 10% off all online orders at my favorite local Minneapolis bookstore, Cream & Amber.
Check out the books I recommend often these days!
And here’s my 2022 reading list so far.
Thanks for reading, listening, and being part of this community who cares about friendship.
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