You cannot win over every potential friend

"I know I sound childish or petty."

Crochet photo by Raelle Gann-Owens on Unsplash

Dear Nina,

At my crocheting class, I met two friends, “Asha” and “Char.” I talk to Char more than Asha, who never reaches out to say hello or to see how I'm doing with my crocheting since I'm still new and learning. I’m not saying she has to. I’m just making an observation.

The three of us recently hung out. Asha has been teaching me how to crochet since day one when I first joined. The only reason why I asked Asha for her number was to reach out to her whenever I need help. I also thought maybe we would have formed a friendship, but that doesn't seem to be the case since she never reaches out.

To me, it comes off as if Asha is not interested in forming a friendship. I don't know if she struggles to show emotion, or that's just her personality, but that's the vibe I'm getting from her. She comes off as very standoffish. She's obviously not shy as she's very outspoken and headstrong with others.

I don't want to force something that's not there, so if she doesn't feel a connection, or is not interested, then I think we should stick to crocheting and nothing else. I don't want to have to feel uncomfortable every time we hang out. And whenever I do reach out to her through text, her responses are short. I've always been observant and go off of vibes and energy, and this was something I noticed for a while. Char is cool. We talk and reach out to each other.

I know this may sound childish or petty, but the situation does make me feel some type of way. Not everyone is as real as they say they are. I'm a truly genuine person, and I've been wanting to make genuine friendships. I also jump to conclusions fast. I automatically think if someone is not talking to me, they’re ignoring me or don't want to be friends with me. I think I need to stop taking it so personally and that maybe it is not always about me. Maybe eventually Asha will come around. If not, then obviously it wasn’t meant to be.

I’d appreciate your thoughts, "Crocheter”

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Dear Crocheter,