Do you miss making new guy friends?
Plus: thoughts on liking your friends' social media posts
This week’s Dear Nina guests, comedians and writers Matt Ritter and Aaron Karo, are part of what just might be the greatest group of guy friends ever. (Write to me about yours and I’m willing to amend that statement.)
Each November their group travels from around the country to Peter Luger Steak House in New York to award a gigantic “Man of the Year” trophy to one of their childhood friends. A tradition that, in Matt’s and Aaron’s words, “has kept our crew going strong since the ’80s.”
They spend some of the year campaigning in their group text about who is having the best year, but the vote happens in person in November. The more people who heard about their tradition, the more questions they got about these friendships, how they stayed so close for decades, and so on. A podcast was born, Man of the Year, with a mission to help men maintain closer friendships.
Obviously I needed to have Matt and Aaron on my show. But since my audience is heavily female (thank you, Spotify and Apple for those stats!), I asked them to help me tackle an often-requested topic from my mostly female audience—one I’ve been avoiding since 2016: male-female friendships.
Why have I avoided that topic since 2016? You will have to listen to the episode. But you knew I was going to say that. In our 30-minute episode, we also spent time discussing something I’ve noticed on social media—people in their 20s and 30s complaining that their close friends ignore their social media posts. I usually get on TikTok to beg people not to judge their friendships this way. (Matt and Aaron didn’t necessarily agree with my take.)
Intrigued? I hope so! All the ways to listen to are below.
FIND EPISODE #123, “Male-Female Friendships and Liking Your Friends’ Social Media Posts” on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or anywhere else you get your podcasts.
Articles and Other Finds About Friendship
I see so many friendship-related things, either because I find them myself or listeners send them to me. I love hearing from listeners and readers!
“Boys and men are experiencing a crisis of connection” by Shannon Carpenter in CNN
“She’s 102 years old, thriving, active and living life on her own terms” by Judith Graham in The Washington Post (thank to my friend Lindsey Rose for sending this. It was perfection.)
My favorite part:
“Jaffe remains engaged with other people. She has subscriptions to the Metropolitan Opera, the New York Philharmonic and a chamber music series. She participates in online events and regularly sees new exhibits at four of New York’s premier museums, where she has memberships. She’s in regular contact with family members and friends.
Jaffe also belongs to a book club at her synagogue on Manhattan’s Upper West Side and serves on the synagogue’s adult education committee. For more than a decade, she has volunteered several times a week as a docent at the New York Public Library’s main branch on Fifth Avenue.
“Loneliness, it’s not an issue,” she said. “I have enough to do within my capability.”
Books, Shows, etc. I’m Into These Days
Reading: I finished listening to All Fours, but can’t say I enjoyed it. Still, I did get to the end, which is not true for every book I begin. This is a not a spoiler to say that when I reached the last lines my first thought was, “I hope Jordi has a better friend than this.” I’m in the middle of reading The Snarling Girl and Other Essays, an essay collection by Elisa Albert.
See my full 2024 reading list, which I update on my website throughout the year.
TV: Still watching ungodly amounts of TV and cooking a ton. Most notably enjoying the part 2 of season 7 of Outlander on Starz, which is infinitely better than season 6.
Cooking: I’ve been making recipes out of The Modern Proper cookbook and What to Cook When You Don’t Feel Like Cooking. Both are great! I’d recommend both as gifts if you have a cookbook lover in your life.
Want to connect outside of this newsletter? You can find me most often in the Facebook group, Dear Nina: The Group, where we discuss books, shows, recipes, and of course, friendship. All the social media links are below.
Instagram | TikTok | YouTube | LinkedIn | Threads | Twitter | Bluesky |My Website
Two anonymous friendship advice questions you might have missed
Have an anonymous question for the newsletter or an episode? You can do that here, and I will never know it was from you.
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Have a great week everyone! Links to bookshop.org and Amazon are affiliate links
omg aaron karo?! what a throwback