A strange thing happened today. Or maybe it was last night? I don’t know how time works on TikTok. I guess there’s no other way to say it—I went viral on TikTok, and it happened some time after I went to sleep.
Was it one of my many posts about friendship? You know, the videos I’ve worked really hard on, forcing me to get over how incredibly awkward I look and sound? Nope.
Was it a techy behind-the-scenes podcasting moment? Or a 30-60 second clip of an actual podcast conversation with a well-known author that might lead new listeners to Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship. No and no.
Was it at least one of my fun TV review posts or one of my more thoughtful book reviews? Nope.
Here is what the video was about: The mini-bouquets I like to buy at Trader Joe’s for my Shabbat dinner table. Yep. That’s it. As I type, that video has 42.7 THOUSAND views. It will have more by the time you read this. You can glance at it here, even without a TikTok account.
I made the video over the summer on a whim in appreciation of those mini-bouquets. I cannot figure out why an old post is suddenly so popular. If any of you understand that godforsaken platform, please explain it to me! Why that video? Why six months after it was posted?
In the meantime, if you would like to follow my adventures in making videos about friendship, books, and shows, I do post regularly now on TikTok, and I’m starting to move some of that content to Instagram as well. It took me longer to post videos there because Instagram is where I know people in real life and it’s a wee-bit embarrassing to be “so extra” in front of them. But you know what? I’m leaning into it. Those videos really are me—extra and all—including my enthusiasm for mini-bouquets on my Shabbos table.
Friendship in the news
Normally I share articles and other finds about friendship in this part of the newsletter, but today’s news is about two high school classmates (not of mine!) and their major Grammy Awards moment.
I was listening to former Dear Nina guests (and my real-life friends) Kristin, Carolyn, and Michelle from The Pop Culture Preservation Society—talk about their favorite songs from 1979 on episode 153 when I learned some unexpected facts about a song I’ve always loved.
According the PCPS research, in 1979, when the Grammy Awards showcased Barbra Streisand’s and Neil Diamond’s first ever duet of “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers,” they had never performed the song together before that moment.
The “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers” duet as we know it was a disc jockey’s brilliant accident of splicing together each performer’s separate version. The PCPS newsletter featured the Grammy Awards clip and with my friends’ permission to share their find, I’m also sharing it below.
Befriending a Fellow Ex
Have you ever considered befriending your ex’s ex? The most recent episode of Dear Nina focuses on the potential friendship that comes from a shared hurt and a shared healing. I was intrigued when Lara Starr emailed me about her “sister exes.” Lara has written extensively in her Substack, It’s Kind of a Long Story, about the friendships that came from bonding with the women who were emotionally hurt by the same man.
This kind of friendship could also apply to fellow ex-friends of a particular friend. There may be some drawbacks to starting a friendship this way. If the relationship stays way too focused on the common hurt, that’s not a true or deep friendship. We get into all of that as Lara shares her story.
🎧 Listen to episode 83 of Dear Nina anywhere you get your podcasts!
And if you are willing to leave a review on Apple Podcasts, you can do that here.
Books, Shows, Recipes
Yellowface by R.F. Kuang is the the next pick for The Dear Nina Book Club. This is a pop-up type of book club where everyone is welcome. Come to all, come to just one. We’re meeting on Zoom on January, 28th at 7:00 (central time.) Tickets are here.
See my full 2023 reading list and the beginning of my 2024 list, which I update on my website throughout the year. A habit I’ve maintained at ninabadzin.com since 2011!
TV rec: I cannot say enough good things about Julia (on Max). Now I need a good show. Nothing is feeling right.
I made this non-dairy chickpea tikka masala last week. I should have taken it easier on the cayenne pepper (perhaps 1 tsp instead of 2) but it had a wonderful, rich overall flavor and kept well in the fridge for days.
JOIN MY FACEBOOK GROUP where we talk about books, TV, recipes, and friendship wins and struggles.
The first anonymous friendship advice question of 2024
“Make the First Friendship Move”
A reader asked how she can get to know a person from her walking group who seems to have good friend potential. She asked if it would be weird to try and take the friendship outside of the group. What do you think I said?
Have an anonymous question for the newsletter or an episode idea you want to share with me?
You can do that here, and I will never know it was from you.
Have a great week everyone! Links to bookshop.org and Amazon are affiliate links
I love the fun loving, sometimes giggling Nina I see on TikTok. Yes, even your aunt can enjoy your videos there. Here's to more viral videos and to lots more of wonderful you!
Congrats on the video. I do not understand it either but I’ve heard others also say sometimes an old video will take off for some reason. Maybe someone sharing it somewhere? I don’t know!