Teen Friendship Pain
Plus: Making friends through games. And handling your friend who wrote a book.
Oh boy, my latest podcast episode of Dear Nina covered some sore spots for parents of teens. It also brings up memories for anyone who was a teen. (All of us!)
How can we help our teens navigate the complexities of friendships without projecting our own experiences, desires, or worries onto them? What level of parent involvement is appropriate? That last question is up for debate—so much so that I’m continuing the discussion later this summer with the one and only Dr. Lisa Damour. So stay tuned for that.
For this current episode (#59) with Stephanie Sprenger, we explored the delicate art of guiding our children through the often messy world of teen friendships. As parents, we might struggle to find the right balance between protecting our kids and allowing them to learn from their own mistakes.
I know I’ve messed that up a few key times—every detail of which I remember and feel embarrassed about to this day. But I have improved this “art” with experience. You can too!
We also covered issues like letting kids choose their friends even while knowing this means other kids are feeling left out. Harder than it sounds no matter how you slice it!
In episode #58, I spoke to the witty and bookish
. I am a longtime fan of his podcast Unorthodox, which he recently “retired” from to write Judy Blume’s biography. Pretty cool! (The actor, Josh Malina, took over Mark’s co-hosting role.)Mark and I covered the age-old method of deepening friendships through a game like poker, mahj, bridge, and so on. But we also covered tons more like why my reading list is so female, how he got the Judy Blume gig (great story), and some Jewish community “stuff” which is to be expected. I mentioned why I stopped writing so many Jewish pieces, and he absolutely understood how I got to that point.
Recent Guest Appearances
I was so touched that Caryn Sullivan invited me to join her on an episode of Happiness Through Hardship. Caryn, founder of Pretty Wellness, is a two-time breast cancer survivor thriving with stage IV disease and the author of the book Happiness through Hardship. Caryn’s gratitude to her friends got her a bit choked up in this episode, which choked me up, too. Caryn is from Minneapolis, but has been gone a long time. I wish she lived here because I know we’d be friends!
I was a guest on The Creative Superheroes Podcast, and I loved my conversation with host, Andrea Scher. We covered so many aspects of adult friendships, and I got a bit more personal than I sometimes do on my own show when I’m highlighting the guest.
Latest TV Shows I’m Watching and Books I’m Reading
I’m devouring the newest season of Never Have I Ever on Netflix. I have two episodes left so I’m savoring them. I did not expect to see Jeff Garlin on this show!
I’m reading Romantic Comedy by Curtis Sittenfeld. I like it so far. I was a huge fan of Prep and American Wife.
It took me FOREVER to make this video on Instagram of all the authors who have been on Dear Nina. (Here’s the TikTok version.) Let’s just say I’m not a natural at this stuff. I’m obsessed with the P!nk song I used for it— “Trustfall.” Try to stop humming it. You can’t!
My updated 2023 reading list is here.
Articles and Episodes About Friendship and Other Stuff I’ve Liked Lately
I see so many friendship-related things, either because I find them myself or listeners send them to me. I love hearing from listeners and readers!
I’m happy to see restaurants are starting to get rid of QR codes! Anyone else!? QR codes at restaurants made every meal with friends and family a phones-on-the-table experience. Gretchen Rubin and I spoke about the sensory issue of phones on tables in episode #57 of Dear Nina. Amelia Nierenberg in the NYT
In Vox, Allie Volpe asks, “How Much Social Interaction Do You Actually Need?” She urges readers to consider the quality of conversations and diversity of the types of interactions you’re having. In other words, you might not need new friends. (But also, you might.)
“This is Jesse Armstrong’s ‘Succession,’ and nothing gold can stay.” Naomi Fry in The New Yorker. Okay, this isn’t about friendship, but sharing it anyway.
The latest anonymous question
“Friends, You Don’t Have to Read my Book: But you should ask me how it’s sometimes.”
Some readers saw that headline and congratulated me for having a book on the way. This letter isn’t about me, and I don’t have a book coming out. But the question applies to podcasters, too, so I shared how I handle the letter writer’s problem from a podcaster’s point of view. (The problem being: When
Have an anonymous question or an episode idea you want to share with me?
You can do that here, and I will never know it was from you.
Join the next session of the virtual Dear Nina Book Club!
This time we're discussing the instant NYT bestseller ---Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make--and Keep--Friends by Marisa G. Franco, Ph.D.
Platonic is an interesting read AND it will allow us to examine and discuss our own friendship attachment tendencies.
Have a great week everyone!
Links to Bookshop and Amazon are affiliate links.
100 percent with you on getting rid of QR codes on menus. If we start a hashtag #getridofqrcodes is that too ironic?