The Intimacy of College and Phone Calls
Plus: Nostalgia about low-key hangs, dry erase boards, Sarah McLachlan, and answering when your friends call.
I know. I know. I know. Many of you detest speaking on the phone and cringe when you hear your little smart-device ring or feel it vibrate. There’s no right or wrong here about how to communicate with your friends.
But as this week’s guest,
, and I discussed—we do feel closer to friends when we’ve caught up on the phone. Spending time together in person is even better, but we weren’t comparing hanging out with talking on the phone. We were comparing talking with texting. And it doesn’t compare evenly.Jo and I disagreed, however, about two key communication habits: She hates voice memos and emojis. I use both with reckless abandon. Sorry friends, not even an award-winning journalist, best-selling novelist, and blockbuster podcast creator like Jo Piazza will convince me to stop.
Jo and I also spoke about her two popular newsletter posts about friendship.
This quote from the second piece inspired me to reach out about my podcast. And Jo said yes!
I miss hearing my friends’ voices. I miss tone and context and actual laughter that isn’t a cartoon of someone laughing. What if one day we forget what actual laughter sounds like because we only read fake laughter?
Listen to episode #61: “The Case for Phone Calls and Low-key Hangs” anywhere you get your podcasts.
In episode #60,
, author of My Last Innocent Year, joined me to discuss the unparalleled intimacy of college friendships. Yes, I’ve now used the word “intimacy” twice in this newsletter. That’s because friendships can be intimate, authentic, and full of vulnerability. And while we don’t need every friendship to become a soul connection, I’d argue we feel empty when too many of our friendships stay on the surface.Daisy and I both got nostalgic about the time of dry erase boards to tell friends where to meet us. And I’ve been listening to Sarah McLachlan for a few weeks to allow my mind to float happily in those memories.
It also just so happened that I was reunited for some in-person time with two close college friends (photo below) right as episode #60 was released. That was a happy accident. My editorial calendar isn’t that on point.
Listen to “College Friends: The Magic of the 90s and the Potential of Current Campus Friendships” anywhere you get your podcasts.
Latest TV Shows I’m Watching and Books I’m Reading
I finished and LOVED the newest season of Never Have I Ever on Netflix.
I finished Romantic Comedy by Curtis Sittenfeld. I felt I knew where it was going, but I liked it a lot anyway and stayed up way too late to finish. I probably can’t handle another Covid-era novel though.
I have Hello Beautiful on my nightstand, but first I’m re-reading Platonic by Dr. Marisa G. Franco for the summer book Zoom club with Dear Nina listeners. Everyone is invited! Details are here.
I’m starting the newest season of Outlander soon even though the last season was truly awful. I already started season 2 of And Just Like That because, similar to Outlander, I will have to see this one through no matter what. I’m loyal that way.
My updated 2023 reading list is here.
Articles and Episodes About Friendship and Other Stuff I’ve Liked Lately
I see so many friendship-related things, either because I find them myself or listeners send them to me. I love hearing from listeners and readers!
“Confessions of a Wedding Planner” by Xochitl Gonzalez in The Atlantic isn’t solely about friendship, but it’s worth the share here for its dramatic first-person account of being a wedding planner, which always includes some friendship drama others can and should learn to avoid.
I liked former Dear Nina guest, Mia Brabham’s, piece in Shondaland about befriending neighbors.
My friend, Lindsay D., sent me an episode of the Goop podcast with host, Cleo Wade, and co-author of Big Friendship, Aminatou Sow. It was a really good conversation. Lindsay was thrilled to be the first to send it to me. Her delight, delighted me!
The latest anonymous question
“Friends, You Don’t Have to Read my Book: But you should ask me how it’s going sometimes.” ←←←
Some readers saw that headline and congratulated me for having a book on the way. This letter isn’t about me. I don’t have a book coming out! But the question applies to podcasters, too, so I shared in the answer how I handle the letter writer’s problem from a podcaster’s point of view.
Have an anonymous question or an episode idea you want to share with me?
You can do that here, and I will never know it was from you.
Join the next session of the virtual Dear Nina Book Club!
This time we're discussing the instant NYT bestseller ---Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make--and Keep--Friends by Marisa G. Franco, Ph.D.
Platonic is an interesting read AND it will allow us to examine and discuss our own friendship attachment tendencies.
Have a great week everyone!
Links to Bookshop and Amazon are affiliate links.